Seriously

We've fallen in love with this young girl. She won't be a seeing eye dog, a bomb sniffer, or in a movie but she's coming along.

We've lost three leashes due to our own inattention and her very sharp teeth.

More clay pots than I can count have become fragments on the patio.

She's learned to sit, lay down, and roll over.

She wants nothing more than to be with me whether I'm in the back yard, garage or living room. She only yelps once and a while. She only barks when she is really lonely.

On top of all that, she's one of the best looking dogs on the block.

Bladder Concerns

Sidney's bladder is the size of a walnut. She announces that it is full early in the morning. With a yelp, she signals the need for relief.

With the first plaintiff yelp, I crawl out of bed, put on my robe and limp slowly down stairs. I pad through the kitchen and pour up a cup of coffee. I fill the cat's bowl and let Sam out of her room. Opening the garage door, I can hear her gentle whine of anticipation.

Once outside, Sid squats and tinkles. Not much, just enough to relieve the overnight pressure. It is almost as if I see satisfaction on her face.

But wait...there's more. A few sniffs, a romp around the flower bed, a few more sniffs and another squat and tinkle.

By this point, my coffee needs warming and she wants her breakfast. She eats while I pour.

The routine never changes and we're both happy when it's all said and done.

A Drinking Problem

She isn't able to admit it yet, so I will admit it for her: Sidney has a drinking problem.

She's a Lab, for goodness sake. What do you expect?

What you are looking at is what is left of a fairly nice looking stream in our back yard flower bed. Sidney's first evening with us was the last night of the stream's life. She laid, belly down, in the water, her sharp claws poking sizable holes in the liner. Within an hour, all the water had drained away.

So I made some changes, piling rocks so the water could "fall" into a container buried under ground, thinking this would provide the sound of the water without the need for a liner. Here's my new problem: Sid needs to be near water...No...Sid needs to be IN water. So she crawls up to the water's edge and buries her head in the falling stream. She dives into the pool, taking big, lapping gulps. The water level is at its highest point, but she still lies at its small shore, like a drunk in a ditch. It wouldn't be a big deal if she didn't swagger up to our guests with dripping chin and set her head in their lap. That's when it gets embarrassing.

We're looking for some sort of 12 step program but there aren't that many Labs who will admit that they have a problem. It's sad, really.

Sidney's Boyfriend

Dino is a lovely young man. He is polite and soft-spoken. He spends every waking minute thinking about Sidney and loves to come visit. In fact, he's started running across the street, standing up against the back yard gate just to look for her.

When they are alone, he nibbles on her neck and she likes it, even though she pretends to be annoyed.

They are in love and would spend every waking moment together, if possible.

Both dogs are 10 months old. I was amazed that Sidney is nearly the same size as the Doberman. I had it in my mind that she was a pup; A big pup, but still just a pup.

What we have is a big dog with a pup's mind. It is a rather scary combination. But she's growing fast (her mind, not her body) and I'm looking forward to the day when she is no longer 7 years old (in her mind).

In the mean time, Dino and Sid can romp and play. They'll both grow out of it in five to six years.

Won't they?

Up Close & Personal

Sidney likes me. She likes being close to me. She likes to get in my face and sniff. She likes to wiffle and huff in my ear.

Then she licks. And licks. And licks. She licks my ear. My neck. My hair. My elbow. My toes. It just doesn't stop.

I like my dog but this is a little more than I can take.

Sidney 36, Chew Toys 1

This dog has an oral fixation. She has something in her mouth at all times, unless she's already destroyed what she had in her mouth and has nothing left.

She has found the secret of happiness. Of course, it is her own happiness. We're going crazy. We can't raise the valuables high enough to keep them out of her mouth...and subsequently in the trash.

Bowls & Bones break.
Collars collapse.
Fabrics fray.
Hats haven't a hope.
Pots perish.
Ropes unravel.
Stuffing suffers.

For those of you who are squeamish, you should look away. Even as I type, one of the many toys purchased to entertain and distract is meeting a horrible death. In its pristine condition, this cute fuzzy object had a squeaker in its heart and two sturdy ropes hanging from the edges. Today, the squeaker is missing (I assume I'll find it in back yard pile later today). The stuffing lines Sid's crate. The rope is being tossed into the air with glee. The blue, fuzzy fabric has been shredded into several sad pieces. One piece is under the couch. Another is on the kitchen floor. A third is...Oh my gosh...

I'd better go. She's eying the computer cables!

Boy it is Early

It's hard to believe that she is still alive.

This dog has teeth.
She's chewed on kitchen chairs.
She's chewed the DVD remote.
She's chewed a bed roll.

This dog has a small bladder.
She's peed on the patio.
She's peed on rugs.
She's peed in her crate.

This dog is trying to escape.
She's dug up nearly every potted plant in the back yard.
She's dug holes in the yard.
She's dug holes in flower gardens.

This dog has hair.
She's shed in the garage.
She's shed in the living room.
She's shed all over my newly pressed pants.

This dog is not a team player.
She's irritated the children.
She's scared the cat half-to-death.
She's dominated the pug, who now lives in his crate 23 hours a day.

Did I mention that she's chewed the leg on the kitchen chair? This dog's lucky to be alive.